If Only

I was thinking today about what the phrase “If only,” means.  Of course, if we look at it, it is all about the past.  What can we do about it?  Nothing.  The past is gone.  You can’t change it, you can only learn from it.  So why do we dwell on it so much? 

I have had a problem with, if only.  I’m not sure I’m any different than anyone else, however, I only know about me.  As I look back, I have regrets, dropping out of school the first time.  But if I really look at it, the blessing of finishing school in Hawaii would have never of happened.  I learned so much more than what was taught in the classroom.   Living in married student housing with students from all over the world certainly gave me a different perspective on life.  I began to realize what was truly important, and it wasn’t material goods. 

As we left school and moved back to the mainland, we tried to instill in our children moral values and not the love of material wealth.  As we moved to the reservation, I believe that the move helped with that.  We tried to help them realize that helping and serving others is important.  We all need to realize that bad things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people, it is not for us to decide.  It is up to us to help.  Some problems happen because of our choices and some by the choices of others.  At sometime we are all going to need the help of someone.   I believe that when we serve and help others, we ourselves will be blessed.  The blessings will come back to us ten fold.  They probably won’t be in material wealth, but the other blessings are so much better. 

I know that the blessings that have come into my life have been immeasurable.  I know that the friends I have made and the relationships I have developed have forever changed my life.  I have been truly blessed.